Viroids and Infections

Spam. It ruins lives, costs money and ravages digestive tracts. No, I’m not referring to canned “meat” product.

[Laughs]

Boy, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while [laughs].

Internet viroids and email infections are no laughing matter. Since the Internet’s birth, there have been at least 281 spam attacks on unsuspecting surfers. Today, “hacking” a person’s information requires little knowledge about computers and more about human behavior.

We’ve all heard the stories:

Enter Tricia, an office worker. She receives an email notifying her that she won the UK lottery. Though Tricia never entered any lottery and lives in America, she instantly imagines how she will improve her life – quitting her job, shopping at Whole Foods, traveling to South Carolina.

Tricia excitedly replies to the “UK Loterry Commission” with her bank account information, only to return home that day and find a trail of blood soaked carpet leading to her decapitated children’s heads resting in her husband’s freshly disemboweled chest cavity.

As tears stream down Tricia’s shocked face, she notices a cup on the living room table filled with blood, ice cubes and her husband’s eyeballs.

Photograph courtesy of Flickr user Kash_if

Don’t let Tricia’s terrible tragedy happen to you. Take steps to protect yourself now:

1. Meet face-to-face instead of replying to emails
2. Buy guns instead of computers
3. Read street signs and posters instead of blogs
4. Imagine your co-workers and family naked instead of watching Internet porn
5. Sign up for our spam-protecting service by commenting on this post with your bank account and routing numbers^
6. Close your eyes.

^We will use your account information to verify your identity before initiating a service fee. After all, we wouldn’t want to be spammed ourselves.