What the Arsonists in Murfreesboro Could Learn from the Black Metal Arsonists of the Early 90's

This whole mosque in NYC and Murfreesboro nonsense is really troublesome; it’s a very divisive debate that literally is testing many people’s patience regarding our nation’s liberties of free speech and worship, as well as the whole “terrorists are slowly infiltrating our nation” stuff I keep hearing about. To be frank, the whole debate is pretty damn stupid – sure, I can understand why some New Yorkers would be upset about a mosque going in near to Ground Zero, but really, is this that big of an issue that our lawmakers are debating this? Is it worth our time to debate this issue of freedom during a time where unemployment is crazy high, our Social Security is pretty much screwed, and our politicians are screwing around, getting away with crimes involving our tax dollars instead of being punished as they should be? Ron Paul made some great points about this (http://www.ronpaul.com/2010-08-20/ron-paul-sunshine-patriots-stop-your-demagogy-about-the-nyc-mosque/), but that’s not what this article is about.

Not too long ago, some people opposed to the new mosque in Murfreesboro attempted to show those “sand people” who’s boss by attempting to burn down some of the materials and equipment needed to build the new mosque in Murfreesboro. While this is sad not only because a bunch of intolerant schmoes are being dummies about the situation, the thing that drives me crazy is that they didn’t do a very good job.

"I'd be mad if they moved into my neighborhood too"

They only managed to damage some of the equipment, not all of it. They attempted to portray their message of “take yer religion and git out” by burning a couple of dump trucks and a few piles of wood. Really? This is the approach your taking to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies? Dang, we can’t even get arson right? That being said, I’d like to present a case that happened not too long ago in the sleepy Socialist country of Norway, where Black metal musicians managed to get their points across regarding arson in a successful manner. Pay attention arsonists, you might learn something.

Back around 1992-1996, when black metal was actually popular, there were over 50 arsons at churches across the country, many of the churches were considered to be historical landmarks. It was a right of passage for black metal musicians and fans to burn down a symbol of religion in order to gain street cred, much like how gang members steal their first car or pop their first cap here in the US. It all started when black metal’s favorite dum-dum, Varg Vikernes, burned down the Fantoft stave church, a major historical landmark to the country that built all the way back in the mid 12^th century. Varg, the man behind major black metal band Burzum and member of legendary Mayhem, decided to leave his mark on fighting Christianity for building the church “on sacred Pagan grounds.”

"Varg was a big hit at last weekend's LARPing meet"

Now, you may be asking yourself “whaaaaaaaa?” but for those (all of you) who don’t know anything about Varg, to sum it up: he’s a man who is a racist, has a mix of pagan/Satanic/other religious beliefs (just not the Christian/Judeo ones), and he’s probably a Nazi, but he’s most known for spending almost 20 years in prison for killing a member of his band for possibly one of the following reasons (note: these are the actual, legitimate reasons):

-a power struggle between rival leaders of a satanic circle

-a conflict of the attention of some broad

-issues over a record contract

-Varg’s belief that the other guy was planning to torture and kill him and videotape the entire thing

-he ate the last batch of pot brownies without him

-he’s a real jerk

"Talk about harshing your mellow"

After killing the dude, the cops found a comically large amount of ammo and explosives at his place, and he was then quickly picked up and then spent a few decades in the clink writing his memoirs about why white people rule, as well as making some pretty mediocre ambient music while in prison. Captain Crazy managed to not only destroy a major religious landmark, but he created a trend among other black metal artists and fans that in order to gain credibility in the scene, you had to burn down a church, resulting in a massive string of successful arsons. Heck, a cover of one of his albums is the charred remains of the church; it’s bad enough that he burned it down, but he gloated about it on a moderately successful album (note: a moderately successful black metal album is the equivalent of selling about 100,000 copies worldwide, back in 1990’s standards). This was a major concern for the country – people were afraid to go to church for fear a kid in a Gorgoroth shirt would torch the place with the congregation inside at any given time. Varg succeeded in his attempt at scaring Christians for worshiping on Pagan grounds, as well as helping to grow the popularity of the music scene with a bunch of angry teenagers.

"Scary for a number of reasons"

What do crazy Norwegians have to do in regards to intolerant arsonists? Well to start, we Americans who wish to do physical and monetary damage to the invading Muslims could learn a simple fact from these corpse-painted nerds – if you want to do the most damage, both physically and emotionally, wait until the building is completely built before you torch it, then use a photo of the ruined mosque on the cover of your local country band’s next album cover. To make the biggest impact, you need to make the biggest headline, and the best way to do that is to do the most damage. If anything about this recent attempt at arson proves anything, it’s that those opposed to the mosque are not only intolerant and fearing of a Muslim uprising, it’s that they’re also very impatient.

So the next time you and your friends are thinking about burning down a mosque, wait until it’s finished first – that way you’d actually make an impact, and probably gain a few more angry 15-year-old followers to your ranks. It worked for black metal; it can sure work for you.